Academic editing

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=143 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" background="16500963.jpg"> <div> <B>Sue Randall</B><FONT SIZE="6" COLOR="#330066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div>            Academic editing</div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=190 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <bR> <div> <B>     </B><B>  </B><A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Sue Randall"><B>HOME</B></A></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c866003300.png" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Academic editing</B></div> <div> <A HREF="writing_services.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Academic research"><B>Academic research</B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="writing_course.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Writing mentorship"><B>Writing mentorship</B></A></div> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" height=337 width="100%" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <bR> <div> Click on the links for samples</div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="#micro_editing" TITLE="Academic editing"><B><U>Micro-editing</U></B></A><B>: </B>straightforward editing of text, with a focus on grammar, spelling, punctuation, sentence length, ease of reading, and so on.</div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="#macro_editing" TITLE="Academic editing"><B><U>Macro-editing</U></B></A><B>: </B>includes both micro-editing and an overview of the entire document or book. Sections of text may be moved around, and some parts may be deleted or shortened.</div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="#examples_of_editing_tutorial" TITLE="Academic editing"><B><U>Editing tutorial</U></B></A><A HREF="#examples_of_editing_tutorial" TITLE="Academic editing"><B>:</B></A><B> </B>I don't edit your text myself, but rather give you suggestions for improvements. I explain my suggestions and provide examples where necessary. A good approach for anyone wanting to improve their writing skills.</div> <bR> <bR> <div> <A HREF="#plain_english" TITLE="Academic editing"><B><U>Plain English</U></B></A><B>: </B>Experts estimate that more than 50% of people using English in the business world today are not first-language English speakers. Plain English, which keeps the language simple and clear, is being used more and more widely these days.  </div> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <A HREF="editing__comments.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Comments from clients"><I><B>Comments from clients</B></I></A></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>SAMPLES</B></div> <div> <B> <A NAME="micro_editing"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></B><B>Micro-editing</B></div> <bR> <div> <I><B><U>Example 1</U></B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B>ORIGINAL</B> </div> <div> In the past two years the company experienced phenomenal growth. There has been an opening of two new branches, Sandton and a second office in Linden and there has also been an appointment of executive brokers, new branch managers, and more general sales and support staff.</div> <bR> <div> <B>EDITED </B></div> <div> In the past two years, the company has seen phenomenal growth. Two new branches have been opened, one in Sandton and the other in Linden, and many new staff members have been appointed. These include executive brokers, branch managers, and general sales and support staff. </div> <bR> <bR> <div> <I><B><U>Example 2</U></B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B>ORIGINAL</B> </div> <div> The study was prompted by the need to assess what is emerging about the impact of institutional change on students and more specifically how students perceive and experience it taking into consideration their diversity with respect to racial, cultural, ethnic, gender and other socio-economic aspects. With reference to the emerging patterns of student experience on campus and perceptions on campus life, the study argues that, while the university has gone a long way in developing and implementing strategies designed to improve student satisfaction on campus and many students have responded positively to these efforts, a sense of discontent persists from a large section of the student population. </div> <bR> <div> <B>EDITED</B></div> <div> The study was prompted by the need to assess the emerging data about the impact of institutional change on students. More specifically, the study focused on the ways in which students perceive and experience such changes. The students' diversity with regard to race, culture, ethnicity, gender and other socio-economic factors was taken into consideration. Certain patterns of student experience and perceptions about campus life became evident. The university has done much to develop and implement strategies designed to improve student satisfaction on campus, and many students have responded positively to these efforts. However, the findings of this study suggest that a sense of discontent persists for a large section of the student population. </div> <bR> <bR> <div> <I><B><U>Example 3</U></B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B>ORIGINAL</B> </div> <div> From the above factors show that children who are receiving more opportunities for making choices will be seen to develop more of these key factors, such as they may often be showing preference for certain activities. Choice-making is a way to channel to participation in activities and the communication skills are equal importance, according to the principle of Beukelman and Mirenda (1998) is that “everyone can communicate and does communicate”. It is up to service providers to remove barriers and they should also to develop their own skills for creative and appropriate ways in helping people with severe disabilities becoming self-determined and have equal participation.</div> <bR> <div> <B>EDITED</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#330066" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> The above discussion makes it clear that children who are given more opportunities to make choices will develop more of these key factors. For example, they may show a preference for certain activities, and choice-making will then become a channel for their participation in those activities. Communication skills are also important. As stated by Beukelman and Mirenda (1998 -- give page # *), “everyone can communicate and does communicate”. It is up to service providers to remove barriers which delay a child's growth. Service providers should also develop their own skills in finding creative and appropriate ways to help people with severe disabilities to become self-determined and to enjoy equal participation in social activities.</div> <div> <I>*Note: my instruction to author.</I></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <I><B> <A NAME="macro_editing"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></B></I><FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#330066" FACE="Arial" ><B>Macro-editing</B></FONT></div> <bR> <div> Because macro-editing involves entire documents, articles or books, it is not possible to give an example here.  During macro-editing, I look at how well your text holds together and I make a note of sections which may contain too much or too little detail. I cut out unnecessary repetition and clarify concepts or discussions that require clarifying. Attention is given to the overall structure and flow of the writing, and illogical jumps between ideas are smoothed out so that the whole text becomes more coherent.</div> <div>  </div> <div> Macro-editing will ensure that your work starts with a clear introduction and ends with a satisfying conclusion. It is recommended for all academic works and longer documents. Micro-editing is usually done as part of the macro-edit, unless otherwise specified by the author or editor.</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <I><B> <A NAME="examples_of_editing_tutorial"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></B></I><FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#330066" FACE="Arial" ><B>Editing tutorial</B></FONT></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>ORIGINAL</B> </div> <div> The question of choice that we face in our everyday lives will be explored, with the purpose of showing that there is a difference in making a choice in consciousness, as opposed to making a choice in unconsciousness. I hope to illustrate that making a choice is not as simple as it may seem and that in fact it is an issue of great complexity. It is seldom a question of choice between two alternatives. The effect that our choices may have on ourselves, and others - the effect upon the chosen - will also be illustrated, at least indirectly. </div> <bR> <div> <B>TUTORIAL</B> </div> <div> The question of choice that we face in our everyday lives will be explored, with the purpose of showing that there is a difference in <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FF0066" FACE="Arial" >[between] </FONT>making a choice in consciousness, as opposed to making a choice in unconsciousness.<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#990000" FACE="Arial" > [</FONT><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FF0066" FACE="Arial" >This sentence is quite clumsy for a paragraph opener. Introduce your reader to one key idea at a time]</FONT><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#330099" FACE="Arial" > </FONT>I hope to illustrate that making a choice is not as simple as it may seem and that in fact it is an issue of great complexity. It is seldom a question of choice between <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FF0066" FACE="Arial" >[consider adding "only" here]</FONT> two alternatives. <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FF0066" FACE="Arial" >[This is a bit of a jump between two different ideas;  consider a linking sentence] </FONT>The effect that our choices may have on ourselves, and others - the effect upon the chosen - will also be illustrated, at least indirectly<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#990000" FACE="Arial" > </FONT><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FF0066" FACE="Arial" >[Unclear; what does "at least indirectly" refer to? Are the effects of our choices indirect, or do you mean you will indirectly illustrate the effects of making choices?] </FONT></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <I><B> <A NAME="plain_english"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></B></I><FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#330066" FACE="Arial" ><B>Plain English</B></FONT></div> <bR> <div> Plain English is easily understood by people with varying levels of education, different cultural backgrounds and different first languages. Even if a document is written in flawless English, it may need to be rewritten for a different readership. You can see an example of this below, where the original text (about psychosocial care for children) was written in excellent English. However, the style of writing is academic and the vocabulary is at a high level. The edited version says the same thing in a less academic way, which is easier for people without an academic background to understand.</div> <bR> <div> Here are some tips for writing in plain language:</div> <bR> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f066003300.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Think about <B>who </B>is going to read what you have written. Write as if you were speaking to them, in a way they would understand. How would you write if you were talking to a group of senior executives? How would you write something that domestic workers and labourers could read? Housewives?  College students? </div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f066003300.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Cut out</B> unnecessary information and repetition.</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f066003300.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Check that your ideas follow each other in a <B>clear, logical</B> way. </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f066003300.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Keep your <B>sentences short. </B></div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f066003300.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Choose <B>short words</B> rather than long ones. </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f066003300.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Don't use <B>jargon</B> ("code" or technical language that is used in your field of expertise but which other readers might not understand). </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f066003300.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Try to speak directly to the reader (e.g. "If <B>your</B> bank asks <B>you</B> for <B>your </B>electricity bill..." or "If <B>your </B>child is bitten by a snake, <B>you </B>should...").</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f066003300.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Often, text written in plain English takes up more space than academic writing. This is because in plain English it is best to write out all the words you would usually cut out in academic writing (e.g. "the house that is closest to the corner" rather than "the house closest to the corner"). These filler words often help a non-native English speaker to understand the sentence more easily.</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f066003300.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Use the <B>active </B>form of a verb rather than the passive form.  Examples:</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="2" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="483" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 131 ><NOBR><div> <B>Active (use where possible)</B></div> <div> They built the house last year</div> <div> He is fixing the roof</div> <div> Zulu people speak isiZulu</div> </NOBR></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> <B>Passive (avoid using)</B></div> <div> The house was built last year</div> <div> The roof is being fixed by him</div> <div> IsiZulu is spoken by Zulu people</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> </NOBR></tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="2" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="535" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 736 WIDTH="529"><div> <B>ORIGINAL</B><B> </B></div> <div> The most appropriate and sustainable psychosocial support (PSS) for young children is provided for in caring relationships of everyday life, at home, school and in the community. Externally provided assistance needs to support, and not undermine these natural systems of care. The phrase 'psychosocial intervention' in this context refers to any programme that aims to improve the psychosocial wellbeing of children. We take PSS to include all circles of support that surround the child. </div> <bR> <div> Children are best cared for by committed and affectionate adults. When this care giving circle is broken, extended families need to fill the gap. When the circle of care provided by kin is broken, community initiatives need to fill the gap. When the circle of care provided by community is broken, external agencies need to fill the gap. Embracing all efforts should be a strong and continuous circle of support through government provisions and legislation. </div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>EDITED INTO PLAIN ENGLISH</B></div> <div> Young children get the best and most long-lasting support from older people in their lives. Children need both mental and social support, and they get this from people at home, in school, and in the community. These relationships are a normal part of a child's daily life. If extra help is given to the child, for example from an organisation other than the school, it should support the child's natural systems of care. It should not try to replace or destroy these important relationships.</div> <bR> <div> When we talk about “psycho-social intervention”, we mean something that tries to improve a child's well-being. We call this kind of help “psycho-social support” or PSS. Any kind of care that the child gets is part of PSS. </div> <bR> <div> Children are best cared for by the adults who love them. When this circle of care is broken, the child's extended family should try to help the child. If the circle of family care is broken, a community programme is needed to fill the gap. When the circle of community care is broken, “outside” organisations are needed. Government agencies and laws should support all of these different levels and circles of care.</div> <bR> <bR> </tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>